My sin

My one concern about Jesus & God is this. Whenever Jesus spoke to some sinner or some human interested in Jesus and salvation like Zaccheaus. Zacchaeus said I will give half of my possessions to the poor. If I have cheated anyone out of anything. I will pay back four times the amount. Now the Widow put a mite it says in the collection plate. Jesus said she had given more than the rich.

Why did not Jesus help this poor woman with nothing, BUT ate with Zaccheaus. Except for Larsus who had dogs licking his wounds. My memory, at 63 be 64 in February, does not remember a whole bunch of poor people being mentioned as going to heaven. Now for me Jesse lee Green I have hurt people, I owe people money that I can’t payback.

All I can do is say I am sorry: Sarah Okler said “Would sorry help, does it ever it is one word against a thousand actions” I agree a with her. From Zaccheaus and Jesus conversation, I gather that Jesus thinks “I AM SORRY” does not cut much mustard. I believe Jesus blood can cover any and all wrong a human does. PERIOD not getting into baptism or trust in Jesus or pray this prayer and you are saved. Pardon me if I think Jesus blood is my key into heaven. The other thing Baptism I have done.

My concern is DO I HAVE ENOUGH ACTIONS showing I am sorry and change and repentance, which also Jesus said is needed. I have a different look on that subject, I was abused growing up I have read lots of Psychology saw some counselors then read human life stories BUT from my pain and how it affects me TODAY I know some events cast long shadows over a human life. It affects behavior thinking and actions AND how a human deals with fellow humans.

I AM concerned about those I have harmed, concerned about my eternity at least in this writing! HOW WHERE WHAT can I do to show those I have harmed AND most importantly God & Jesus that I am sorry. But most of all like Zaccheas some kind of restitution. See my life has taught me when a parent does something to a child that child will do similar to its children and other humans. Wrong though it be those people I talk with Psychologist say IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT IT IS ALL YOU KNOW, up until you know better.

These people Psychologist say for some of your life you don’t question because it is how you were raised , usually until about 30 he said. Then you have been interacting with other humans and have found out that there are other ways. I for instance did not question my mother’s sending me a detailed list of what she spent on me every year from about 30 or so UNTIL I knew better( not all mothers do this). When I was hurt and mad enough I started asking friends if they did this to their children or if it was done to them, their answers opened my eyes!