Laughing at me

I ask every day “WHY GOD DON’T YOU KILL ME”?”!! My Family laughed at me, my teachers laughed at me, the church I went to laughed at me laughed at me! I am so dumb so stupid my father said “-WHO PAYS YOU FOR THINKING”. I drop every thing CLUMSY THEY SAY laughing! Books like “Toxic Parents” tell how much damage this does to a human if I pointed this out they all would laugh and say BULLSHIT! God show some love kill me perhaps in Hell they will not laugh at me!